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Sunday, May 10, 2009
I never thought this could happen, but watching Whale Wars on Animal Planet makes me want to kill whales. It isn't that I have anything against whales, nor do I support the whaling industry. I just can't stand the crew of the Sea Shepherd, starting with its captain, Paul Watson.
For those unfamiliar with this series, or the issue of modern whaling, international laws forbid commercial whaling. Small indigenous tribes are allowed to kill a limited number of whales for consumption, but large-scale whaling is off limits... except for the use of scientific research. And that's the rub. Several countries have used that loophole to hunt whale for supposedly scientific purposes. The law says that you have to use up the entire whale, so whatever's left over after science picks out its share is sold legally as whale meat. The fact that almost all the nations conducting scientific research on whales happen to have a history of consuming whale meat is, I'm sure, just a coincidence.
Greenpeace does its part by sailing next to whaling vessels and holding up snarky signs. Paul Watson, co-founder of Greenpeace, felt they weren't doing enough. He was asked to leave the organzation in the '70s for promoting more militant action against the whaling industry. He responded by founding the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, a group dedicated to stopping commercial whaling.
In Whale Wars, the crew of the Sea Shepherd track down whaling ships in the Antarctic and procede to throw glass bottles of Butyric acid onto the deck of the whaling boat, attempt to board a whaling boat to sabotage its equipment, attempt to board another boat to issue a "UN warrant" and generally harass the whalers into submission.
The first problem with the mission of the Sea Shepherd is that while the crew's goal is made clear--the cessation of all commercial whaling--it's shruggingly vague how these people believe their actions will bring about that end. This is one ship harassing five boats--five boats that comprise one fleet out of many fleets from one nation out of many nations that hunt whale. Mind you, the mentality of this crew is like an on/off switch. There's no middle ground as far as they're concerned, and no such thing gradual achievement. They never once state that they're just one small ship doing what they can to take steps toward their goals. No, they are convinced they are, through this very line of action, going to stop whaling all by themselves.
But, I think, grand ideas are how things get done, so maybe it isn't fair to criticize a group of people just for dreaming big. Then I watch them in action. First, they plan a mission to take an inflatable motorboat over to one of the whaling vessels and board it. The mission fails when they collectively discover they were heading in the wrong direction all night. One of the whaling vessels discovers the position of the Sea Shepherd, worrying the guardians of whales everywhere. See, if this whaling boat broadcasts the coordinates of the Sea Shepherd to the rest of the whaling fleet, they'll all just keep their distance from the Sea Shepherd and hunt whales with abandon. Now, it strikes me that if your mission is to harass and impede boats from whaling, and that this mission requires you to be within boarding--and in some cases even throwing--distance of the other boat, and your mission can be wholely neutralized simply by the enemy's awareness of your presence, then perhaps you had a problem of strategy before ever setting sail. But that's just me. So now the Sea Shepherd wants to board the whaling vessel and destroy the communications equipment. Mind you, anyone who's been out to sea--or those like me who just watch a lot of Deadliest Catch, knows that a ship in the middle of the ocean without communications equipment is in jeopardy. If anything goes wrong, they can't call for help and the crew risks dying at sea. But, nevermind that. See, it doesn't matter, because the mission never got underway. They had too many people on board the inflatable motorboat when they quick-released it into the water. It flipped over as soon as it hit the sea, spilling its occupants into the ocean and turing the sabotage mission into a rescue mission.
During that same incident, the hook holding the raft hit a blade on the helicopter. Experts told the crew not to fly it, but dammit! there are whales to save! So they fly it anyway, keeping within visual range of the Sea Shepherd so the boat can come rescue the pilot in case the copter crashes. You know, that's if he survives the impact of the crash.
Clearly, the crew's biggest enemy is not the whalers, but their own incompetence. It doesn't help that the ship is filled with young crusaders, their heads filled with more ideals than experience at sea. No one, least of all Paul Watson, appears concerned that this boat is staffed by people who have no idea how to work a boat. And no one has the first clue just how dangerous any of this is. After the second failed attempt to get the inflatable into the water, two crew members are sitting in the cabin giggling over how this was like a game of battleship. Mind you, several of their crew mates almost died. Later, the Sea Shepherd is hiding from a whaling boat's sonar among ice bergs (again, your short-term goal is to go right up next to whaling boats and harass them, and yet if you expose yourself to them, they'll broadcast your position and render you ineffective--how is this a good plan?), and one of the crew members is giddy that this is exactly--exactly, he claims--how Han Solo hid the Millenium Falcon from the Imperial fleet in Empire Strikes Back.
Finally, a third mission to take the raft and board a vessel is successful. This time they... deliver a warrant from the UN. Of course, the UN doesn't sanction this organization's mission, nor do they--as far as I know during my semester studying there--issue warrants. At least they didn't write the warrant up with crayon. And, why, exactly, have you risked people's lives to deliver a piece of meaningless paper? In any case, the whaling boat took them prisoner, and the Sea Shepherd claimed they kidnapped their crew members.
It doesn't help that the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society loses credibility at every turn. It claims that it has sunk eight vessels and has rammed several others into retirement. The claim has never been verified, and seems unlikely. The Sea Shepherd is a small ship compared to these whaling vessels. There's nothing to indicate its bow has been reinforced for ramming purposes, and ramming two large ships would cause heavy damage to all involved, even the ship doing the ramming. Even if the Sea Shepherd didn't sink from the ramming, it's hard to see how the organization could have paid for the repairs. At one point in the series, a $100,000 repair job almost ends the season because the group doesn't have the money to pay for it (the day is saved by the Red Hot Chili Peppers and their checkbook... no, seriously). Reports are that the Sea Shepherd's most recent mission came to an end when they ran out of money to pay for fuel. So it defies reason that they could have rammed all those ships and had enough on the books at the end of the day.
In the final episode, the commercial whaling vessel fights back against the acid bottle attacks by throwing flash bangs at the Sea Shepherd. Paul Watson steps into the bridge and announces he's been shot. He pulls out a badge he wears under a bullet proof vest--you know, my son got a badge just like that when he was five. Embedded in the tin is a slug. Everyone aboard is angered that the whaling vessel would shoot Paul, though not surprised. I, on the other hand, find it terribly surprising. The most surprising thing is that they managed to shoot Paul without him feeling the impact of the bullet (he claims he didn't know he was shot until he went back inside the bridge) and that the bullet somehow phased through Paul's jacket, which was zipped up and had no entry holes from the round.
Clearly, Paul Watson has some bitterness towards Greenpeace--and you have to wonder who he hates more, his former organization or the whalers. In return, Greenpeace doesn't sanction the Sea Shepherd's actions, and at one point, refuses to give the them the coordinates of a whaling vessel it (Greenpeace) has discovered. Mind you, for several episodes, Watson had been trash-talking Greenpeace, talking about how unworthy and inadequate they were, but apparently Greenpeace is good enough to pimp for information when the Sea Shepherd needs it. This sort of fanaticism that pushes everyone into the categories of enemies and.,. well, it's really just enemies and themselves, doesn't endear this crew to the hearts of viewers. Then there's that lack of perspective. One woman dramatically claims she's so angry she can't speak--referring to a whaling vessel tracking their whereabouts, that's just the tracking vessel; imagine how she feels about the ones actually doing the whaling! Of course, her ability to speak never leaves her, and she prattles on for several more minutes.
To top it off, a distinct tone of racism rings throughout each episode. The whaling boats they're chasing originate in Japan. During the entire series, the crew of the Sea Shepherd, Watson included, refer to them as the Japanese--not the whalers, not even the Japanese whalers, just the Japanese. When they talk about the evils of whaling in general, they speak of the Japanese, even though several nations, including a few Scandinavian ones, hunt whale. They speak of Japanese culture and how it supports and fosters the murder, as they call it, of innocent whale. At one point, while talking to the Japanese whale boat on the radio, Watson asks them where their samurai spirit went. Even in feudal Japan that would have been a ridiculous question to ask anyone who wasn't in the samurai caste--in other words, to almost every Japanese person.
All in all, this is a show about a bunch of people who don't seem to have much more going on in their lives. They're looking more for some purpose in their lives than saving whales. At one point, over half the crew leaves after Watson declares the Sea Shepherd will, from that point on, be a dry boat--people, I'm not making any of this up. And Watson comes off more as someone trying to prove his old organization wrong than as someone sincere in his cause. If you're bored and feeling like you need a reason to support killing innocent whales, just watch this self-absorbed, inept bunch try to steer a boat. Imagine the self-centeredness of Rachel from friends, mix in the bumbling idiocy of Benny Hill, add a sprinkle of the East Asian racism of Charlie Chan and throw in the danger of Deadliest Catch, and you have Whale Wars.
posted by Wallwriting at 5/10/2009 11:04:00 PM
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Chuck is a show that should get more viewers. It's comedy mixes broad and subtle; it has a great love story between two hot leads; it has fight scenes with guns, knifes and fists; it has a spy-plot about a wide and super-secret conspiracy that is preposterous in a way that many people like their spy/conspiracy stories; it is not the funniest show on TV or the most dramatic, but it mixes comedy and drama better than any series--perhaps other than The Office--and throws in action to form a trifecta that no current series can equal. Yet it's one of the lowest-rated shows on NBC. It just doesn't make sense. I can understand why Arrested Development, still the best comedy ever put on American television, didn't attract many viewers. Its humor was too specific and random, and its characters too comedicly repugnant with no attempt by the writers at making them human beings we can relate to. For better or worse, most viewers still watch TV to relate to the pixilated people on their screens and stop thinking about anything other than the comfort provided by fun and enjoyable boxed stories. But Chuck has relatable characters, and it's fun and enjoyable, and you can watch it without thinking about anything grand, complex or uncomfortable. It isn't the smartest show on TV, but it's the most entertaining. There's room to argue that it's one of the best shows on TV. Other shows have aimed for more high-brow and though-provoking topics ( The Wire, The Sopranos, Deadwood, BSG, Mad Men, etc.), but no show that has aimed for the middle-brow, that has embraced its attempt at doing nothing more than showing the audience a good time, has ever done it as brilliantly as Chuck. If you need any further proof, watch last night's season/series finale, "Chuck vs. The Ring." By putting the show on the bubble, NBC issued a challenge: show us what you can do. The writers, producers and actors responded by assembling an episode that flashed us all its tools, all its strengths, everything they had. This wasn't just good writing, acting, directing and storytelling--it was a jailbreak of creativity. They threw every last scrap of themselves onto the screen and gave us something of a Jackson Pollock: pieces from everywhere seemingly imploding without congruity, bits of every idea they ever had mashed into a single lump, the very building blocks of creativity thrown together seemingly in a state of panic--but all together inventing something brilliant in the end. The Sopranos had the smartest finale I've ever seen. BSG had the most satisfying, M*A*S*H the most touching, Night Court the most bizarre. I've had single episodes grip me so tight I thought I'd lose my breath: the pilot for The Shield, the pilot for NYPD Blue, BSG's mini-series. But I have never seen anything as manic, as gloriously self-indulgent, as untethered to thoughts of "we can't do that" as Chuck's finale. I was 15 minutes into the episode when I thought: "Oh my god, it's only been 15 minutes?" They had packed that much Awesomeness into the first QUARTER of the episode. A while later, having lost any concept of time, I figured the episode was about to wind down into its last few minutes. Then I looked at the clock and discovered, to my squealing delight, that I was only 26 minutes into the hour. By the time Bruce Boxleitner uttered is already infamous line, "Why are you letting Sam Kinison and an Indian lesbian wreck your wedding?" (or maybe it was a couple minutes later when they ended the "Mr. Roboto" sequence--having gone through a Jeffster! cover, the original Styx and an orchestral version--with Jeff lighting roman candles in a church) I neared the state of unconsciousness. How much Awesome is one viewer supposed to take. Yes, other shows make you think more, or make you cry more and even laugh more (okay, nothing as ever made me laugh more than the Boxleitner line). But I have never enjoyed myself more watching a TV show than I did last night. NBC issued a challenge and the staff at Chuck simply ended the match, no contest. I usually watch TV as a jaded consumer: I don't owe you anything, so if you want my eyeballs each week, give me a good show each week. When I see an episode, season or even series I love, my attitude inclines toward the idea that delivering a good show is the creator's job. You made a great show? Okay, good job. Carry on, then. For the first time I can remember, I actually wanted to personally thank the staff of a show for entertaining me so much. If you haven't seen it, go to Hulu.com and take a look. Whether the show gets renewed or not, this is an episode to which TV geeks will give a mention years from now. Don't be caught ignorant when the topic comes up.
posted by Wallwriting at 4/28/2009 08:00:00 PM
Sunday, February 08, 2009
I forgot I had this account. Years ago, for some reason, I started posting here. It would appear from the dates this began as far back as when I lived in Omaha, but I can't remember what motivated me to open this account.
For years, I kept a Journalspace account. I made thousands of posts. I was proud of only a few of them. These included my list of the top 100 movie villains since 1976, my rules of NYC subway etiquette and my BSG reviews. I met my wife on Journalspace. I wrote my novel on Journalspace. I couldn't believe it when they shut down having lost all the data on all their disks, including the backups (sabotage was suspected).
I need someplace to practice writing. Already I find my skills rusty (take this sentence, for example). The editing on my novel is suffereing from it, so I guess I'm back here ready to post on... I got nothing.
posted by Wallwriting at 2/08/2009 02:09:00 AM
Monday, September 29, 2003
We finally got our things this past Friday from Atlas Vanlines. The movers were a week late, charged us for a shuttle fee that was never mentioned until after they picked up our things, and damaged a good deal of our stuff. So we have several claims filed against this move, but at this point I'm half inclined to dispute the entire credit card charge and let the credit card company deal with it.
Our things stacked up to eye level, filling the entire living room. We've made good progress over the weekend, clearing some aisles, hanging up wall shelves, and setting up our tv and computer. Hopefully we can get the place liveable by the end of the week.
posted by Wallwriting at 9/29/2003 11:57:00 AM
Friday, September 19, 2003
I got stuck in my first elevator today! I should have known the thing was going to cause me trouble. When I hit the button to go down to walk my dogs, I could hear the interior doors open, but the exterior doors (the ones in the hallway) would not. Of course, as far as the elevator's computer was concerned, it had fulfilled its duty and sent an elevator to my floor. So, it wouldn't sent me another car.
After this little incident, it seemed to work okay (I took the other elevator down, but I took this one back up). However, after I dropped off the dogs and left for work, I took the same nefarious car to go down. It stopped suddenly on the 8th floor, then went down another half floor before stopping altogether. I was in there for about 20 minutes. It was actually kind of a fun experience as I climbed a ladder to get out of the elevator and get to the 7th floor. I hope it's working by the time I get back tonight.
posted by Wallwriting at 9/19/2003 04:16:00 PM
Sunday, September 14, 2003
There's something very uneasy about watching your father slowly become a feeble old man. My father used to be the most powerful, most frightening person alive. Now, his mind, his body, and his spirit is in decline. He's an emotional shell. His wife has left him; his children barely keep in touch; he has no money, and no foreseeable way of getting much.
He is a lonely man. A hollow man. I don't know what I can do to help him. I don't even know if I care to try, and I feel guilty about that. People shouldn't have to live like he does. I hope I never will.
posted by Wallwriting at 9/14/2003 09:36:00 PM
Saturday, September 13, 2003
I have two days until we finally move into our new place. As nice as it has been staying temporarily in this apartment, it's not the same as being home. Another guy's place, another guy's furniture, and the fact that the place is on the 6th floor of a walkup.
The new place, especially it's elevator, is going to be heavenly.
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